Bex has arrived

The last time that I posted on this blog was 2 years ago. Alot has changed, mostly for the better.
I don't hate myself and live in shame anymore. I don't have to lie about who I am anymore. I've found my passion, begun to find my place in the world, and begun to find people who love and accept me and all of me. I can finally breathe.
Today is my last day of Student Teaching. It's really my last day of college. I honestly can't believe that I made it this far. I almost killed myself over the summer because I was so afraid to come out to everyone. I just didn't want to be hated and rejected, especially not any more than I have been in the past. But accepting myself and loving who I am and being able to pour love into other people this semester has made my life so much different and better than I could have ever imagined.
I've come an awful long way since freshman year. I'm not confused about who I am or who I can be or who I'm 'allowed' to be. I don't have to be fake. I lived fake for far too long and accepted far too little for far too long.
I'm looking forward to a summer of adventures with someone who actually wants to spend time with me and is a handsome, gorgeous, funny, spontaneous soul that I have been searching for and missing all of my life. I'm looking forward to a summer of teaching preschool, interviewing for jobs and preparing for the rest of my new found adult Bex life.
I've learned alot in my 17 weeks of student teaching. I've learned that 'dookie' means not cool/cheap, and that when you're in 5th grade waving to someone in the hallway counts as a date. 5th graders think that everyone is 'irritating' and when your teacher turns their back is the perfect time to fortnite dance. 10 year olds are both way to cool for everything yet not so cool that they won't bring their favorite stuffed animal to school or wear footie pajamas on pajama day. They can be your best friend one minute, hate your guts the next, and then be your best friend again by after lunch.
I'm proud of myself, my 5th graders and everything that we have achieved together this year. I can't wait to see what the future holds for me, and for the 45 little people I had the honor of learning with

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